Multiplicity; The Act of Being Many

Have you ever had one of those secrets that defines your whole life. Your every waking moment is spent within the cocoon of that secret and you’re absolutely terrified of what will happen when it comes time to shed the cocoon and let every one in on your little (figuratively speaking) secret.

I know a lot of people have felt this way in the past. Many of them have been people hiding their sexual preference and finally coming out of the closet. Other undoubtedly feel this way about revealing the gender they identify as. For me, though, it’s something just as extreme, something that has just as much impact in my eyes as either of those reveals.

And, now I’m standing here on the stage with all the lights aimed at me. I can feel the glare baking my skin. The heat has soaked my collar in sweat. I swallow, and take a step closer to the edge of the stage.

Now that I have your attention… here’s my biggest secret: I have multiple personality disorder.

There are many other individuals who share my body and my life. We laugh together. We cry together. We dream together. And, I won’t hide them anymore.

Now, let’s take a careful look at a few factors. Multiple Personality Disorder technically isn’t the correct diagnosis for the disorder anymore. The correct diagnosis is Dissociative Identity Disorder. And, I’ll be straight up honest with you, I don’t like either of those classifications for what this is. And for more truth I’ve got to say I don’t have a de facto diagnosis from a doctor. This isn’t because I haven’t been tested and made my psychologist and psychiatrist well aware of the situation. The reason I don’t have the official diagnosis is because I refuse to be treated for it.

To me the others aren’t a disorder that needs to be heavily medicated and locked away. They are a part of me. A part of my everyday life. They are an accepted part of me, a package deal, and nothing anyone says is going to change my mind. My life wouldn’t be the same without them.

To me it’s not a disorder or condition with negative ramifications.

To me it is multiplicity; the act of being many.


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