The Poet: Learning

Learning, learning something new,
Every day I always do,
It helps me see things in a different hue,
And, expands the bounds of what I know.

Write what you know they always say,
What I know is really boring, kay?
I don’t fly around and shoot a space ray,
I sit at a keyboard and tip tap my life away.

But, this life is the most fulfilling,
It’s the reader’s heart I’m stealing,
Giving their soul a good healing,
And their mental soil a good tilling.

Don’t you know I’m up here frozen,
Knowing you’re the only chosen.

Ryan S. Kinsgrove


Follow along with my peculiar brand of insanity:

The Poet: My Brain is Totally Blank

My brain is totally blank,
I can’t think of a single thing,
I’m only trying to be frank,
Rather than go out on a wing.

I’ve got lots of writing to do,
My first fantasy novel will be published June 18th,
The 204th anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo,
It’s a military fantasy about the navy and marines.

I need the covers designed,
So much logistical crap,
I’ll just have to stick my nose to the grind,
And, hope I don’t create a bottomless trap.

Sometimes decisions are easy to make,
It’s the follow through that takes the cake.

Ryan S. Kinsgrove


Follow along with my peculiar brand of insanity:

The Poet: Getting Motivated

I’ve written about instant gratification before,
But, now I want to publish an unwritten novel,
I’m not even sure how that idea got out the door,
Much less build and fortify its own little hovel.

Here I’m thinking I can be a great writer,
When setting down to write is near impossible to do,
The burden on my shoulders doesn’t get any lighter,
When I have too many ideas to view.

Motivation is near impossible for me,
I don’t have the dedication for follow through,
I feel as immobile as a tree,
I can’t find the getup to just do.

Maybe today will be different I think,
Maybe today I’ll sit and write till I turn pink.

Ryan S. Kinsgrove


Follow along with my peculiar brand of insanity:

The Poet: Do You Believe in the Beauty of Your Dreams?

Do you believe in the beauty of your dreams?
It’s said the future belongs to those who do,
That beauty is a goal to reach for it seems,
Beauty as bright as morning dew.

I feel I fail at reaching for this goal,
Procrastination rules my mind with an iron fist,
It is the beauty that it stole,
Carrying it off in an impenetrable mist.

I want to believe in the beauty,
I want to hold it close,
Reaching for it should be my only duty,
Showcasing it here in glorious prose.

And, now I’m extremely depressed,
Feeling nowhere near my very best.

Ryan S. Kinsgrove


Follow along with my peculiar brand of insanity:

The Poet: The Curse of the Vacation

Vacation. What does that word mean to you?
Form me, the definition is do absolutely nothing,
That definition comes in far to impractical a hue,
Doing nothing leaves me not feeling anything.

I wanted to be proud of what I accomplished,
But, I didn’t do a damn thing,
I did nothing I promised,
Super me, the waste time king.

I wanted to go out with friends,
Hopefully build a new relationship,
Those hopes came to empty ends,
With zero money I missed the trip.

As with everything, I struck out,
My life is thoroughly filled up with doubt.

Ryan S. Kinsgrove


Follow along with my peculiar brand of insanity:

The Poet: Stressing Over A Cat

Sitting down to write a poem,
After stressing all day over a cat,
You would understand if you know him,
He’s a little ball of orange fluff, and not very fat.

I work nights,
So, naturally, the appointment was mid-day,
I was scared, and time was tight,
I didn’t have much say.

Turns out he’s allergic to the tiniest flea,
His skin scabbed up and broke out into a really nasty rash,
A shot was all he needed, a big relief to me,
And not a terrible drain on my pool of cash.

Insomnia is here, so much for sleep,
Sometimes I really want to scream BLEEP!

Ryan S. Kinsgrove


Follow along with my peculiar brand of insanity:

How to Write a Blog Gone Horribly Wrong!

Catchy click-bait title, or something like that. Anyway I’m currently taking an email course on blogging by Jeff Goins, and I will personally say I think he’s an awesome guy from what I’ve read about him. As such, nothing in this post is intended to harm or insult Jeff any anyway. I only wish you the best.


That being said.


I am a little over halfway through the course now and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. The first thing that made me kind of cringe was right off the bat.


Choosing a topic.


The purpose for the blog came first, and my purpose was fairly simple: I want to build a fanbase and eventually turn it into a way to make an income. That’s the goal there, lol. Professional blogger. Still, the purpose for the blog was simple to come up with.


Lesson number 2 was Focus. In this lesson we sat down and scribbled down a list of things we found most interesting about ourselves, about things we were familiar with, topics about how something… something… something… I can’t remember all of it right now. Night time meds are kicking in. (Note to self: write blog posts before you take the sleep meds. I don’t know what it is, but Benadryl knocks me the eff out.)


Anyway, topics and things. I was able to boil my top three topics down into something I would love to write about that would overlap everything I was interested in. A dash of games, a touch of writing, the stuff that’s written on the little about me on the web site. The answer to the question Jeff posed “What is your blog going to be about?” “World Building.”


World Building is the factor in fantasy, in writing, working as a game master, it’s the factor that I love above all others. I could easily see me doing a blog about nothing but world building, writing different world building topics every day for the rest of eternity. Could I do it? Yes, but not here. I’m not going to turn Ryan S. Kinsgrove into a blog about world building. I’m not going to force a topical structure onto what is very brazenly a personal blog. Not going to do it. Not going to do it.


That doesn’t mean I won’t at some point, make a blog about world building and world building alone. But, I’ve got things that need to be straightened out first. Things I’m sure all of you are aware of. If you’re a living breathing adult in this society, you are most definitely aware.


I so don’t want to adult.


Just like I don’t want to turn Ryan S. Kinsgrove on its head and pretend the last four months of inconsistent posting have meant nothing. I have a very ADD personality, and I feel like my blog should be representative of that. I will be gaga for one thing this week, and totally hate it and curse its existence the next week. I could… Hey!!! Look!!! A Squirrel!!!!


Hi squirrel! Hi squirrely squirrely squirrely mcsquirrely pants!


Wait… Was I doing something? Oh, if I had a point, I lost it. Dang squirrels will do that to ya.


But, I am enjoying Jeff’s email course. He’s just starting to cover things I don’t think I’m ready to handle yet. Maybe I’ll keep those lessons secreted away in one of my unused email folders, and seek them out when I feel I’m far more ready for them.


Maybe, something like that.


Anyway, if you like the madness here at Ryan S. Kinsgrove you should click the subscribe button, via email or wordpress account either one is fine, and be sure to share me on all your favorite social media platforms. Spread the word about just how awesome Kinsgrove is.

Beating One’s Self to a Pulp

Just to make a short note, I am writing this post on Monday the 7th, so the intention to write a post and submit it is still there. But, I’m having a little technological issue.
In other words, I forgot my phone at home. >.>
So, it’s likely you won’t see this post until Tuesday, even though I’m going to make an attempt to remember to post it as soon as I get home from work. The best laid plans of mice and men, though.
Anyway, on another topic, I did straight up forget to post on Sunday. I’d had such a good streak going, and then a day of World of Warcraft and homework messed it all up. I even thought about making the post about halfway through the day. It was one of those passing passive thoughts though. Not one where I was like: Yeah! We should do this! Do it! Do it! Do it! Shia LeBouf did not knock down my door and start yelling angry motivational things at me. That didn’t happen, and it’s not like I put forth any effort to make the thought happen.
But, that takes us right around to the topic I did want to discuss today: Self Deprecation
If you’ve ever heard the adage “you are your own worst critic”, self deprecation takes that statement a step farther. “You are your own worst enemy.” When you self deprecate nothing anybody else ever says is going to be worse than what you say to yourself. In fact, those things other people say become fuel to the fires of your self loathing. It doesn’t matter if those are nice things are not, to the mind of someone self deprecating those words will be twisted into a knife.
“I like your hair,” becomes “My hair must look horrible if she’s saying that. She can’t mean that my hair is really nice. My hair is never nice. I bet I have a mega cow lick in the back, and now that she’s out of ear shot she’s laughing her head off at me. My hair sucks. My life sucks. Everything just f***ing sucks.”
You might think this is me exaggerating to make a point. I’m not. Being someone who deals with this sort of thinking every single day I can vouch for the verisimilitude of the thought process.
The effects of this thinking are far more widespread than just making you feel bad for a little while. This type of thinking can absolutely destroy your entire life, hurting not only you, but everybody around you.
Self deprecative thoughts can be started by the simplest thing. “Oh I got a B on that exam, I ruined my perfect 4.0, I’m a total failure.” “Why do those boys keep making fun of me? Is there something wrong with me?” And, 9 times out of 10 this either stems from low self esteem, or it creates low self esteem. The two are basically hand in hand.
Self deprecation can also come alongside a wide array of mental disorders: chronic and seasonal depression, bi-polar disorder, OCD, borderline personality disorder just to name a few. Mania should most likely be in there as well. I’m not a medical expert however, so take what I say in relation to this with a grain of salt.
Now, to get down to the point and discuss what the most destructive part of self deprecation: The Cycle of Failure.
And, the Cycle of Failure is something we shall discuss on the morrow.
I would also like to give a shout out to Iain Kelly, Austin L. Wiggins, and semiprowriter. Thank you for the follow, and I hope you enjoy the show.
And, if you enjoy the show, and want to keep seeing more of Mr. Kinsgrove, please remember to follow the blog, then like and share it on all of your social media platforms.
Consecutive Days Blogging: 1 ish