The Poet: It’s Been Six Days

It’s been six days,
Days not a word was written,
My life is a massive hectic maze,
I don’t even have time to pet my kitten.

That’s not entirely true,
I tend to exaggerate quite a bit,
To seem like the hours are too few,
I really do sound like a twit.

I haven’t done jack for a week,
And, I did it by choice,
A choice I regret as the outlook is bleak,
It’s like I’ve given up my voice.

I would make a vow to renew my dedication,
But, I know my brain is on permanent vacation.

Ryan S. Kinsgrove

RSK

The Poet: I’m a Terrible Human Being

I’m a terrible human being,
I missed my post yesterday,
I can’t believe what I’m seeing,
I broke my streak at 8 days.

It’s horrible, I know,
But I shall survive,
I’ll come back better, I’ll grow,
For today my streak I will revive.

I’ll go more than 8 days this time,
Don’t believe me, just watch me do it,
Not doing it would be one serious crime,
And I have to show off my wonderful wit.

Self-deprecation, I came really close,
But, I defeated it with poetry and prose.

Ryan S. Kinsgrove

RSK

Follow along with my peculiar brand of insanity: https://upscri.be/5a20f7/

The Poet-Super Sonnet Sunday: All Under Control

Delirious he,
Delirious she,
Delirious me,
Delirious thee.

Mania and Dementia,
Manic and Depressive,
Twins on the same coin, hallelujah,
Yet suddenly compressive.

Bi-polar disorder, you old fiend,
Or claim you Sheogorath be,
From thee the Joker has many things gleaned,
Constant accursed companion you are to me.

Mental health is not a joke,
Trapped in this monster’s eternal yoke,
My brains spill out little more than yolk,
And, I’ll feel as if I never woke.

On paper, it’s easy to be mad,
The audience merely thinks it’s an act,
In reality, I’m not all that bad,
I’d say I’ve got plenty of tact.

Negative thoughts, self-deprecation, all under control,
I’ll at least let you think I’m playing that role.

Ryan S. Kinsgrove

RSK

Follow along with my peculiar brand of insanity: https://upscri.be/5a20f7/

The Poet: Crying In The Rain

The key is not for me,
No happiness there shall be,
I do not deserve to be free,
Bleeding, broken, and bound to a tree.

They freedom, thou dost surrender,
Going through life devoid of splendor,
Feeling like nothing more than a pretender,
At the very worst a repeat offender.

The sun is there, hidden behind black clouds,
Their silver lining is its burial shroud,
Tearing through and breaking their vows,
Into the depths beneath the bowels.

Here I am left, crying in the rain,
Wondering what life is like without any pain.

Ryan S. Kinsgrove

RSK

Follow along with my peculiar brand of insanity: https://upscri.be/5a20f7/

Beating One’s Self to a Pulp

Just to make a short note, I am writing this post on Monday the 7th, so the intention to write a post and submit it is still there. But, I’m having a little technological issue.
In other words, I forgot my phone at home. >.>
So, it’s likely you won’t see this post until Tuesday, even though I’m going to make an attempt to remember to post it as soon as I get home from work. The best laid plans of mice and men, though.
Anyway, on another topic, I did straight up forget to post on Sunday. I’d had such a good streak going, and then a day of World of Warcraft and homework messed it all up. I even thought about making the post about halfway through the day. It was one of those passing passive thoughts though. Not one where I was like: Yeah! We should do this! Do it! Do it! Do it! Shia LeBouf did not knock down my door and start yelling angry motivational things at me. That didn’t happen, and it’s not like I put forth any effort to make the thought happen.
But, that takes us right around to the topic I did want to discuss today: Self Deprecation
If you’ve ever heard the adage “you are your own worst critic”, self deprecation takes that statement a step farther. “You are your own worst enemy.” When you self deprecate nothing anybody else ever says is going to be worse than what you say to yourself. In fact, those things other people say become fuel to the fires of your self loathing. It doesn’t matter if those are nice things are not, to the mind of someone self deprecating those words will be twisted into a knife.
“I like your hair,” becomes “My hair must look horrible if she’s saying that. She can’t mean that my hair is really nice. My hair is never nice. I bet I have a mega cow lick in the back, and now that she’s out of ear shot she’s laughing her head off at me. My hair sucks. My life sucks. Everything just f***ing sucks.”
You might think this is me exaggerating to make a point. I’m not. Being someone who deals with this sort of thinking every single day I can vouch for the verisimilitude of the thought process.
The effects of this thinking are far more widespread than just making you feel bad for a little while. This type of thinking can absolutely destroy your entire life, hurting not only you, but everybody around you.
Self deprecative thoughts can be started by the simplest thing. “Oh I got a B on that exam, I ruined my perfect 4.0, I’m a total failure.” “Why do those boys keep making fun of me? Is there something wrong with me?” And, 9 times out of 10 this either stems from low self esteem, or it creates low self esteem. The two are basically hand in hand.
Self deprecation can also come alongside a wide array of mental disorders: chronic and seasonal depression, bi-polar disorder, OCD, borderline personality disorder just to name a few. Mania should most likely be in there as well. I’m not a medical expert however, so take what I say in relation to this with a grain of salt.
Now, to get down to the point and discuss what the most destructive part of self deprecation: The Cycle of Failure.
And, the Cycle of Failure is something we shall discuss on the morrow.
I would also like to give a shout out to Iain Kelly, Austin L. Wiggins, and semiprowriter. Thank you for the follow, and I hope you enjoy the show.
And, if you enjoy the show, and want to keep seeing more of Mr. Kinsgrove, please remember to follow the blog, then like and share it on all of your social media platforms.
Consecutive Days Blogging: 1 ish